1. I actually DO have friends.
A whole big handful in fact. And for some reason they
actually like me. Well unless you count that time I got defriended by a so called bff--hello blindside!...But yeah, I got me some darn good peeps.
2. I am more intelligent than I sound.
I really am. I read. I research. I like school and learning.
However, by the time it gets transferred to my dialogue it sounds more like
I’ve had a few drinks or I am the not the brightest crayon in the box.
Stuttering. Slurring. Omission of words. Tongue tied. All while
everyone else’s eyes are glazed over in confusion or disinterest.
Crap. And don’t get me started on work meetings with other adults.
The. Worst. You expect me to have an intelligent conversation with intimidatingly brilliant adults when
I’m busy trying to think of what to say to prove I'm intelligent?! Forget about it. (See #5)
3. I am more fun than I appear.
It’s true. I know how to be a little—or a lot—weird.
Knock a few back. Do a silly jig. Pull out my Sally O'malley impression. One of my best stories involves Mexico, an
inner tube, a cigar and a glass door. Believe me, it was fun!
4. Yes, that was supposed to be funny.
In my head, I’m hilarious. Unfortunately this hilarity
never…ever transfers to other peoples’ minds!
5. I’m sorry, “I’m having a hard
time listening to you because my inner dialogue is freaking out and yelling at
me trying to think of what to say or ask to keep this conversation going”
There you are answering my dumb question, but I’m not listening—I’m
trying to think of a new question to ask so we don’t just end up staring at
each other. Awkward. I call it, “conversation paralyzation”—It’s a
thing. Very real folks.
6. I'm not a B----.
I know I may look it on the outside. Not approaching you to talk. All cold and turned off to the world. Seldomly attending social events. Lack of eye contact. I know it may look like I'm thinking, "I'm better than everyone around me", but I'm really thinking, "I just hope they like me."
Brilliant as always!
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